Thursday, June 12, 2008

Do You Smell Egg Salad?

Well, I am probably going to get killed for this but I just have to "break the ice". My family (extended family included) finds humor in the oddest things. The two things they find the funniest are when someone hurts themselves but are okay and when someone passes gas. I find the latter more funny. We have just wrapped up a family BBQ for Angie and Joey's father (Father's Day gift) and one of the funniest things of the night was Joey having stomach pains. It smelt like his stomach was hurting anyway! From eating so much food , I am surprised he didn't 'shart' on himself!

I'm not hanging Joey out to dry, so to speak, as I can hang with the best, or worst, of them. I can remember, not long after Angie and I got married, Joey introduced me to 'cooping'. For those of you who don't know what that is, let's see if I can explain it. You poot in your hand, close your hand in a fist, then throw it at someone close by. I am here to tell you, if done right, it works REALLY well.

To me, passing gas is one of the funniest things that God created. Maybe the act of actually passing gas is what's funny, but how people react to it. Everyone does it, EVERYONE, but no one wants to acknowledge it. In the immortal words of Dr. Phil...'Own it!' So in the spirit of things, I want to create a list of the many ways we label a fart and would love people to chime in! Here it goes...

  1. Fart
  2. Pass Gas
  3. Flatulate
  4. Floating an Air Biscuit...

I am also adding a couple of my favorite video clips on the subject.



Sunday, June 8, 2008

It's About Time...

I've been trying to think of what to write about, how to start it...anything. I guess it comes down to the usual, I DESPISE writing, much less writing about me. I guess it has something to do with not wanting anyone to get to know me that well. I have had some major issues over the last 15-18 years and, with the exception of Angie, will not let anyone get close to me. There are some things that I still won't involve Angie in and I know she senses that. I trust her more than anyone. It is just taking me more time to let go of all this baggage.

I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for her. Her strength, conviction, and love for me has made me who I am today and I owe SO much to her. I've told her this before but she makes me want to be a better person, husband, and father. Outside of my children, marrying her is my greatest achievement.

With that said, back to today's thoughts...I heard from my sister yesterday. For those who don't know my sister, I always have a good news/bad news conversation when we talk. She tells me the good news first, then the bad news (you get the picture!). Well, the good news was that she found out the sex of her baby-to-be (she's pregnant) and she's having another boy. She already has two boys, two wonderful boys, Andrew and Connor. The bad news was that my mother, who has COPD from smoking for too many years, was admitted to the hospital yesterday due to chest pains, arm pains, and loss of feeling in her left hand. She has been on medication for a bulging disk in her spine and they thought she might have had an allergic reaction to the medicine, but it didn't make sense to me since she had been on it for 5 days (but what do I know). Of course, I began to worry about losing my mom and that got me to thinking about my Dad, who I lost to a heart attack 6 years ago.

To make a long story short, I just found out that the doctors concluded my mom did suffer from an allergic reaction to Relafin and she is fine. They are releasing her from the hospital today. I am SO relieved that mom is okay. What bothers me is how sensitive I still am when it comes to the subject of my dad. I miss him a lot. We were never that close while I was growing up. But after I married Angie, things changed between us. We became friends and would spend time together, whether going to get a drink somewhere and talk about Alabama football or just call each other...and talk about Alabama football! What else is there to talk about? I am glad he got to see Bailey in action, but wish so bad he could have known Luke and Presley.

Well, that's all for now. I am going to spend the afternoon with my wife and babies at the pool then go wish Clay good luck at Red Robin's. There is a friendship that I let get away. He's a good guy and likes Alabama even though he's an Auburn fan. I wish him ALL the best in Seattle.